Dear Limber Chick in Low Rise Pants at Yoga Class,
Wow, that is a stylish outfit--I don't think I've ever seen such a low-cut gym top! You certainly are unique that way. Oh, you brought your own yoga block, too. I'm starting to intuit that you take yoga Very Seriously.
I noticed that you were sitting front and center, arching yourself into cobra pose and then trying to make eye contact with people in the mirrors. Yes, I am now thoroughly convinced that you are bendy. Perhaps now you would like to sit down and relax while we wait for class to start.
No? It's time for more poses? Okay. I guess I will just sit here and wait while you talk to the instructor about just how advanced you are. Perhaps this is part of being Very Good at Yoga. As I am not showing cleavage at Bally's today, I would not know.
You bring such a unique perspective! And--is that a lower back tattoo I see peeking out at your waistband? You are a very special lotus flower, indeed.