Let me preface this whole thing by saying that I'm cranky when I'm tired and was probably born a very old, very uncool lady. Now that we have that out of the way...
One time during my junior year of college, at about 2 a.m. on a Monday morning, I was woken up by some drunk guys playing basketball in the courtyard of my apartment building. It was a weekday. I was half asleep. And there were no basketball hoops in any of the courtyards. So I'm not really sure where they were aiming or what sport they thought they were playing, exactly.
I was pissed, and it didn't get better as they kept throwing the freaking ball and being loud and the sounds of basketballs and drunk dudes echoed up the courtyard walls. So, what did I do? Well, I like to think it's what anyone would do in my situation: yell profanities out the window.
Now, my former roommates claim that they were sleeping soundly until I woke them up, which I think is just the cherry on top of it all, because that means the first thing they heard upon waking was me yelling, "Listen, [rhymes with "truck race"], it's 2 a.m. on a Monday and some of us have places to be in the morning. Shut the [truck] up and go to bed like a normal person."
This stopped the bouncing for a moment as they yelled up for me to "be cool."
I think I made some noise of frustration and shut my window. I hate being told to be cool because it just accentuates how uptight I must be at that moment.
When they hadn't stopped a few minutes later I opened my window again and yelled something about how they were assholes, yada yada, and proceeded to sleepily call 411 for the Minneapolis Police Department non-emergency line, which I found out is scientifically impossible. As I was being asked which precinct I needed (crap, how would I know? I still don't know!), the truck faces threw their basketball at my window. I got connected to one precinct, but it wasn't the right one and they wouldn't transfer me. Finally I just called our building's overnight security person to bust up their game. Why that didn't occur to me first, I really don't know.
But anyway. I bring this up because it is after midnight and thus early on a Monday morning, and some jackasses are lighting fireworks in my neighborhood. Seriously. You freaking. Assholes. I know you're not doing it because you love America. No one loves America that much; that's why everyone is SLEEPING RIGHT NOW. Unless they live within a quarter mile of truck races such as yourselves.
Sigh.
Maybe drunk dudes and I share a neighborhood once again. I'd open my window and give them a piece of my mind, but they'd probably throw fireworks in my direction.
