Sometimes I think I should have been a wedding planner. My natural (neurotic) "what if?"-ing tendencies would be put to such a constructive use. The whole point of having a wedding planner is that they have a contingency plan for every possible (and even semi-plausible) scenario. I'd get to work myself up and have an actual reason for it. It would be amazing. Also, I'm thrifty, and have no shame calling a hundred places to save $5, which I think a couple (or father of the bride) would appreciate.
Last summer I was maid of honor in my friend's wedding and I packed an amazing emergency tote bag full of any cosmetic you could think of. I also packed extra jewelry in case any bridesmaid forgot to follow the bride's guidelines. Which they did. And I paid the limo driver with a blank check from my wallet (I carried my wallet with me to the ceremony. You never know. And it turned out that the groom didn't have his wallet, so I was completely validated.)
Next month I'm in Beth's wedding, and I'm having to prod her to be more bridal. Beth is so laid back. I thought this would be the dream (and, really, it is), but now I have nothing constructive toward which to put my neuroses! Planning the bachelorette party kept them at bay for a while, but now it's over and I have no makeup or hair scheme to obsess about. No timing of a grand march to plot. No hotel with which to haggle. If I can't channel this somewhere useful soon, who knows--bridesmaid goes nuts and shows up to ceremony decorated with eyeliner cat whiskers?
After all, Beth, this might be your wedding, but this is my prom substitute/secret calling/neuroses exorcism. You can't expect me to just show up and look pretty. I'm Catholic! This joyous occasion must be tempered with at least one chore or I might just enjoy it, and then where would I be?
Seriously, Beth. This wedding is not all about you, you know!
