Wanted: Master Class on How to Walk in Heels

While there are many feminine arts on which I will lecture at my finishing school, I have to confess that there are some areas of my wiles that are not so...wiley. Mainly, how the hell does one walk in high heels in a non-gallumphy fashion?

I don't have any pairs of extreme heels--probably the highest in my closet are 3.5 inches, and those are worn least frequently. For works I stick with pumps with about a 2.5- or 3-inch heel, and I love shoes with a thicker stacked heel, for balance. But I can't seem to get the hang on walking in heels in a way that suggests they're an extension of my leg, and not pesky things that get in the way of my foot and the ground (which they truly are, but they're attractive and pretty much a fact of lady life). Some ladies are naturals when it comes to occupying lady footwear, and others have to work at it.

Heels trouble me thusly:

1. I can't do the "walk on the balls of your feet, creating the illusion of stepping with your whole foot" thing.
2. They hurt like a mofo and have uglified my toes for life, and yet flats now feel unnatural.
3. When I walk "heel toe, heel toe" I look clunky and there is unintentional (and awkward) spring in my step.

So, I'm making additions to the curriculum at my finishing school. Please offer suggestions for looking like a girl in my girl shoes. Thanks!